Dear Mr. Premack: You would think this is a problem only really wealthy people would have, but my elderly father is being courted by a lady who he hired to help around the house. I think she looks at him as the ticket to any easier life, and I don’t think she cares about him so much as she cares about his bank accounts. The real problem, as I see it, is that he really doesn’t understand what she’s doing. The doctor says he has mild dementia and his short-term memory is poor. What can I do if this lady marries him without telling us? Is there a way to protect him from what I see as predatory behavior? – P.E.

The first thing to do is discuss this openly with your father, but not in her company. If you can help him understand the risk involved in a relationship with her, he may become more guarded. On the other hand, he may become defensive and align more strongly with her, so you could enlist help from someone outside the family who he respects.

She may be exploiting your father’s weakened condition for her own monetary gain. You can anonymously report the possible exploitation to the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services. Visit their website at www.dfps.state.tx.us and click on "Adult Protective Services". They will investigate to determine if any exploitation exists, and then help arrange for services that can prevent harm to your father.

If she is aggressive enough to marry your father without notifying his family, you can take legal action to annul the marriage while he is still alive. You can seek to become his court appointed Guardian or can act as his "next friend" due to his incapacity.

If you become guardian or are Agent under his power of attorney, you should investigate whether she has listed herself as beneficiary on his life insurance or annuities, has become party to his bank accounts and investments or is listed on his IRA. Those should be changed back so that she reaps no additional rewards when he dies.

Should your father pass away after they marry but before you can take action to annul it, a new law effective September 1, 2007 allows you to take court action after his death. To do so, you file an application with the probate court asking for the marriage to be voided. The court must find that:

• On the date of his death, your father was indeed married;
• That the marriage began no more than 3 years prior to the date of his death;
• That you, within one year of his death, filed papers asking for the marriage to be voided;
• That on the date of the marriage he did not have mental capacity to consent to the marriage and to understand the nature of the marriage ceremony; and
• That after the date of the marriage, he did not regain mental capacity and ratify the marriage relationship.

If all those things are true, the court’s order will void the marriage and strip her of all status as surviving spouse under any Texas law.